Christmas Vibes and Love

Photo by lil artsy on Pexels.com

Lil Artsy’s Photo says it all

 

Dear Internet,

I know its been a while, I’ve been dealing with some issues, just like everyone else in New York. But I am grateful to have close friends and partner that will make this Christmas and New Years a special one. This year I am looking past the commercial side of these holidays. In the past, I must admit, like a child,  I looked forward to that special surprise neatly wrapped in a box with a bow. Wondering what materialistic item it might be. Was it one of my so wanted items from Santa? 🙂 Hahaha But this year after several scary moments, like most , I come to that realization that things get old, they expire or go out of fashion. Just like in one of those sentimental Christmas dramas showing the true meaning of Christmas.  I am actually looking forward to the company, games and wine with my closest friends and friends. (My true family). To my family, to all of New York and the world…… (You too Internet)…..  Merry Christmas……, Happy Holidays…. and a wonderful, Healthy New Year!! 🙂

 

Much Love……

 

 

 

Evening Listening to Liza…:-)

Dear Internet,

Here I sit in my living room listening to a Liza Minnelli recording titled  ‘Liza WITH A “Z” a concert for television’ on cassette release in 1972 by Columbia Records. All I can say is wow, it sounds pretty awesome for a cassette of this era and played on a quality deck. This just made my evening……. 🙂

Especially after a tough day at work………

 

 

 

TGIF!

Dear Internet,

Feeling so so grateful, blessed and loved what more can a person ask for. With all that is happening in the world I will try my best to see the good in everything. It is so easy allow negative energy to enter and take hold. Not today!! 🙂

 

 

 

Blessed

 

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Dear Internet……..

The photo above just says it all, I found it on Pexels.com artist: cottonbro hmmm which one would I be… 🙂

To be with someone that totally gets me……. aaaah not sure how to explain it. I am feeling so so happy today. Conversations seem to flow so smoothly. Hmm what’s the catch 😛  What is wrong with him? Will this end up like one of those Sex n the City episodes? Hopefully not, well its Friday and getting ready for a night out in the city…… where will this night take me?

Till next…… my dear internet… 🙂

 

Betrayed…..

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Dear Internet,

where to start…….. Hmmmmm

Perhaps it is my fault for putting faith in certain individuals. Well never again….

Fellow people whom I thought would have had my back have left me alone to hang and dry during a meeting at work. I know this is the breaks and that its business nothing personal. But Wow , I felt like I was in one of those episodes of the British TV series “The Traitors” or better yet more like I was the character ‘Zoe” in the Netflix series “House of Cards” where Zoe is thrown in front of the approaching train by Frank in the underground. OUCH! I can still feel the burn………..

Well life moves on and I am over it ……. (I think) 😛

Hmmmm I need a ‘feel better’ Amazon purchase is needed……

K over it…….

Till next rant…..

Much love..

M.

Happy and at Peace with my self

Photo by M Venter on Pexels.com

 

Dear Internet,

The more and more I accept my self and become self aware the more I have come to be at peace with my self. I will never be perfect nor will I ever want to be. I can be serious at times but mostly laid back …. sometimes a little too laid back? 😛 Reading allot of self help books talking with others and just coming to grips with my self. I feel have helped me realize that all I can be is me and no one else. I can not fill everyones expectations, all I can do is my best with what I have. While improving on areas that I see need improving. Shutting down that ‘Ego’ will be hard as its is ingrained inside of me. But at least as I become aware of my self I have been seeing areas that , can really use improvement. Can there be perfection in imperfection? 🙂 Who knows…….

To me there is beauty in many things that many may see as not so pretty.

So weed is legal in NY hmmmmm 🙂

………………..

Where am I going with this…… I have no idea.  I am just letting my thoughts and ideas go were they may. Perhaps I am finding this therapeutic. Sitting here listing to slow jazz play on my computer while I sip on my morning cup coffee to satisfy my addiction. Getting used to the idea of self awareness and not needing anyone to just be happy to me at this moment is a revelation. I used to always want to make people happy and I just love seeing everyone happy. Just sometimes one can not succeed in making an individual happy ( I am talking non-crisis issues here) when they are in a slump. Having gone through my own slumps and such. I’ve learned that sometimes just hearing the person out and just listening without interruption is comfort enough. But I cannot take that downward feeling away from that person. It is something that they themselves will have to figure out and choose when to let go of it and move on.  (Sounds kinda harsh) hmmmmm It what I had to do for my self when I was in a downward mood. Music has always been my goto feel good potion.

Currently listing to : “Magic Nights” Restaurant Guitar……

**This is some good stuff!!** 😛 Ehem *Cough* the coffee that is 😛

Well thanks for hearing me out Internet…… till my next silly nonsense ramble……

Much love….

M.

 

 

 

 

 

Another Year and Grateful

Dear Internet,

My past experiences (like many others) have taught me so much. Like many in this world I have come to realize all that I have to be grateful for. Not to sound like one of those typical sappy kinda entries, but I am. Grateful that is, for everything, my life and my experiences. Many have told me things can always be worse and while true. I will not sit and dwell on the negative. No I am no happy go lucky “The world is a rose” type. I am very fortunate for those wonderful people in my life and my health and the list goes on and on. I will not be making a New Years resolution, those get broken. 😛 But I do look forward to what 2023 has to bring, for I will think positive and pray that the new year does bring many good things. Happy New Years! Internet and to all!

 

2023 by: Engin Akyurt

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Victim Personality

Dear internet! 🙂

Why , oh why do I seem to attract those with victim personalities, you know those Debby downers that always have something negative to say about everything! Haha OMG! Here I am trying to change my life and not go backwards. Hmmmm Am I sub-consciously looking for these type of people? Hmmm now there is a thought. I will keep those in my prayers and pray that they do find what ever it is they are in need of and in search of. But I can not and will not allow my life to be taken down that slippery slope of sadness and neediness! 😛 I have come to far. I love and respect my shelf to allow my self to be dragged down this road. End rant!

 

Merry Christmas! (Happy Holidays) 🙂

I have no idea who this is but this photo by: Satoru Takamatsu is perfect! I just got out of the shower and had to do the same thing! 🙂 ***Smile and laugh!***

Photo by Satoru Takamatsu on Pexels.com

 

Comfortable in my own skin

Photo by cottonbro from Pexel.com

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Dear Internet,

 

It’s been a while since my last post Continuing on , meeting new people and being happy with the person whom I have become. Perfect in my imperfections, guaranteed to make more mistakes but yet own up to them. Not afraid to love yet hoping to be loved. A package deal that is hard to refuse ……. *Cough*

I am continually learning more about my self, trying to understand others is a difficult task,  yet learning and getting to know my self can be even more challenging at times. What is it that truly makes me up, what is it that I am truly trying to find within my self? What is the real path that I want to take. I have no evil interests in mind, nothing but love and peaceful thoughts run through my mind. But like many out their, I often  wonder what is it all about. “I think therefore I am” , hmmm, is that the proper quote or saying? I am just free styling this post. 🙂

Some take it one day at time living each day without worrying about the future or what may come. While others are constantly prepping for the future, scraping and saving for retirement. Other are awaiting an apocalypse or something like that. I guess I am taking it day by day embracing each moment as it comes. I am unsure what the future holds, I find it hard to really predict to be honest. (Not trying to be negative here) Just free-styling this…. All I know is I want to live happy and free as possible. With so much going on I never knows what can or will happen. So I made up my mind to try my best to life life more.

Photo by Oliver Sjöström on Pexels.com

Photo by Oliver Sjöström on Pexels.com

 

Continuing on

Dear Internet,

It has since been about 6 months last I posted about how I finally let go on Oct 19 2020. In continuing with this… I found the courage to put the final nail in the coffin. I decided to delete useless numbers in my contacts. Those that never really reached out to me or only called when they needed something. I guess my thought process is, if I am always the one calling, texting or reaching out am I being needy? Now I hold no ill feelings towards them or anyone for the matter. I simply want to continue on my mission to be with those whom know that happiness and love is a two way street! Hmmmmm It felt great! to just free my self…….

This photo By Nina Uhlikova on Pexels.com just says it all……….

Photo by Nina Uhlíková on Pexels.com