I know that my cell phone can capture stunning photographs as well. But I can not help to feel that carrying this little guy around with me is not much of a nuisance after all. It weighs close to nothing and the pictures that come out of it are pretty great in my book. As I figure what it is that truly want to write about I thought this would come in handy on the streets of NYC. My cell phone constantly reports low battery with the recent temps falling in the low to mid teens. Not a cool thing especially if I need to make a call let alone snap a picture. This little Pentax’s battery just keeps chugging along with out a care from what it seems. Perhaps the cell phone just has too much going on. Who knows. Kinda reminds me of those old school 110 cameras from back in the day.
Here is another entry for you to digest, thoughts that I have been pondering about for some time now. Its Funny, perhaps I am suffering from depression or so I believe. I woke up this morning and well I don’t feel excited for anything, is this normal? Everything seems not be so exciting anymore. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? I have spent the early part of this morning of scouring the internet in search of a possible answer to this. But I have not come across a suitable answer apart from the well-known “You might be suffering from depression”. Could something else be going on? I don’t think it is depression because, well, I do not feel sad or have any other thoughts like suicide or anything like that. But it could very well be depression. I been feeling well more like bored. I have motivation but nothing seems to grab my interest anymore like it used to. I came across Agustus Lu’s Youtube post and it kinda it home in the sense that I seemed to have lost focus on the main goal of what ever it is I wish to achieve. I used to come up with so many ideas and set so many goals, especially when I was in High School I am often wondering what is that has changed from that time till now. For some odd reason I seem to have lost the purpose of my end goal. Is my life simply to go to work, pay bills, eat, bathe and then go to sleep. Only to repeat the process over again? I often wonder how do those really happy (or seemly happy people do it). You know the always smiling, always cheerful people.
Have I simply lost some chemical in my brain that affects that drive? I don’t think so…….. At least I hope note. 🙂 What has cause me to become so bored? I know I have talent, I know I have the abilities to accomplish allot. I have good people in my life that I know love and care about me as I do them? Is it possible to go through a mid-life crisis at a young age? Is this just another form of depression that has some weird name? Have I just simply lost focus and I am simply floating about in life going through the same dull routine. Have I have hit a rut? I am simply trying to find that magic thing that thrills me. The usual things that used to excite me are no longer doing it for me. I have the motivation in the morning then is vanishes as quickly as it came. Could it be my environment? Should I relocate? Could it be that I need to meet people who will bring that spark into what I once loved?
I refuse to become a hopeless case!
One of the things I learned today was making the time to take the time. Literally, taking the time to document ones work helps not only in building a path for the future when upgrading. But also int trouble shooting. There is nothing worse that trying to trouble shoot another persons work when there is no documentation. Good documentation is like a schematic to an electronics engineer. A road map to a traveler in a foreign place. I was going through one of those semi tough days at work, the one trying to figure out another’s work with out such schematics. Let me tell you reverse engineering, while fun at times. In a crunch can be a pain in the ***. Luckily I remembered being a similar situation and this particular problem was familiar. I found some of my previous notes and documentation on how I came to a solution to fix it. After mapping it out and making slight tweaks here and there to my notes I was able to document a solution to this new issue. At the same time reverse engineering another persons work.
Mood: Happy and accomplished.
This morning I have feeling randomly overwhelmed. Oddly enough I am not sure why. Yes there is allot to do both in my personal and work life. But nothing that I guess would bother the average person. This of course is all in assumption as I know everyone is different. Is it the weather? It’s a slightly chilly 55 degrees outside with overcast clouds. Kinda dreary as some would say. Could I just be getting tired or going into a rut at such a young age? I do not seem to be able to think clearly and my thoughts seem like mud. When I started to work on some homework my brain just felt went into a kernal panic. So I closed the books and shutdown the laptop. I took a long ride out to another state yesterday and normally this would cheer me up. But instead it seemed just like that, ‘a long ride’. I did enjoy it, but it’s not like when I first got the bike. Where exploration was mandatory and exciting. This time it was more like, wow this is a long ride. Am I getting depressed? Or is it simply time for a change in scenery. Nothing seems to excite me at this moment it all sorta seems the same. Ugh this is so not me!!!!!!!
Just to be clear this is not a rant against any one or group in particular, just more of a though I been feeling because of some past experiences.
Despite all that I have experienced with others changing face just to stay ahead of the game. Perhaps even to score big with some one whether at work or with friends, I come to realize that I as a person can not do that. I lost some old friends to this sort of behavior and I simply can not sell my soul for my own personal gain. I have always just have to simply be me, despite how many times I may have been wronged or hurt. I just can not bring my self down to that level. Hell I am no saint myself but I have yet to change face no matter how lucrative the possibility. Loosing a friend sucks and I wish them nothing but success. This experience also has helped me realize to cherish my most closest bud a friend who has always been there through thick and thin and is just a phone call away. Come to think of it. I will treat him to lunch tomorrow just because…..
OK end random thought/rant 🙂
So I went to the Hall of Science ham fest today. Not much see really but I guess that it because of the weather, who can blame venders for not wanting to display their goods only to have them get wet. I guess my 5 dollar entry fee is going to a good cause to help raise funds for the Hall of Science amateur Radio Club. First time there to be honest, I am sure that if it were sunny out that more venders would have been there. Otherwise there was not much of an interesting selection of items. I waited a little while longer as some venders took a chance and starting putting out items for display once the rain had died down. I felt bad for them to be honest, I mean they came there expecting to make sales. Of which I think some sales were made. I did not buy anything, as there was nothing really that caught my eye. Maybe next time. Oh well, at least I took a chance and traveled out to Queens to give it a go. Back in Manhattan sipping my coffee, probably go down and polish my bike from all the road dirt. 😛